Friday, June 6, 2008

Babies have lazy necks

 

 

News Groper: These Blogs Are Not Real

June 6th, 2008

The primary is finally over and we all could have had two babies in the time it took to wrap up. But that would assume you had the babies immediately back to back. And it's probably very taxing on one's body to have a baby and a break of a month or so would be in order. It's funny that when babies are born they can't support the weight of their heads.

Breaking news: Not everything green is good! by Al Gore

Why I hate Hillary Clinton supporters by Barack Obama

I look positively radiant in your car window by Christopher Walken

I'm not quitting, I'm ceasing to run by Hillary Clinton

I have a dream... by Howie Mandel

Shut your face Todd Perineum by Bill Clinton

Announcing my new website of creepy self-worship by Tom Cruise

In your wet dreams, Chris Martin by Bono

Regards,

The News Groper Editors
www.newsgroper.com

News Groper is a network of fake parody blogs.
Address: News Groper LLC, 18 Bridge St., Suite 2E, Brooklyn, NY 11201, USA.

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The Myth

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Only 7 percent support taking military action against Iran.

According to a new poll from Public Agenda, nearly 50 percent of those who follow the situation in Iran say "the one" best way to deal with Iran is through using diplomacy "to establish better relations." Only five percent favor threatening military action, down from nine percent in fall 2007. Seven percent support taking military action:

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(HT: Democracy Arsenal)

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How Long in Iraq?

Here's CBS's poll on how long Americans would like to see our troops stay in Iraq. John McCain's supporters can try to spin his 100 years remark any way they'd like, but it's clear enough that McCain's one of the thirty percent who think longer than two years is acceptable.

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A Load of Blather: Unreal Reports from Ireland and Beyond

Eleven years, three convictions, two deportations, ten thousand pints, six barring orders and a legion of leather-clad groupies later, Dave Walsh, Barry Kavanagh and Damien DeBarra (the cheap tarts that brought you Blather.net) bring you their latest labour of love: A Load of Blather: Unreal Reports from Ireland and Beyond, the first book that anyone has been nuts enough to let them publish. Shamelessly re-working articles which have been online for years anyway, this magnificent tome is a veritable smorgasboard of smut; bursting out of its trousers with a great heaving cavalcade of paranormal events, superstitions, mysterious happenings, conspiracy theories, hordes of rampaging kangaroos in the Dublin hills, and the previously untold story of General Michael Collins' forays into outer space. There's even a bit about talking cows in there. If the lawyers haven't cut it out. There's guest articles too, from the likes of Sue Walsh, Oliver Bayliss and Dr. Stewart Roberts.

This scandalous pile of slanderous filth can be yours for a mere €9.99, a pint of blood and your firstborn child. Ok, we'll settle for the money. Seriously, we need the money. Those drugs don't buy themselves, no more than the villa in Sardinia is going to build itself or the Blather private jet is going to refuel itself.

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Orwell's 1984 deconstructed by puppets

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Fed's Kohn: Expect more Bank Loan Losses

Fed Vice Chairman Donald L. Kohn testified today: Condition of the banking system. A short excerpt:

Consistent with trends in commercial banks overall, conditions at state member banks have weakened over the past year. Problems in residential mortgage, home equity, and loans to home builders have pushed the nonperforming assets ratio at these banks to 1.57 percent, more than twice the level of one year ago and the highest rate since 1993. Loan loss provisions have also accelerated, rising to a high of 1.14 percent of average loans during the first quarter of 2008 in large part reflecting the deterioration in residential real estate-related loan portfolios.
...
Over the coming months, we expect banking institutions to continue to face deteriorating loan quality. House prices are still declining sharply in many localities and losses related to residential real estate--including loans to builders and developers--are bound to increase further. In addition, weak economic conditions could well extend problems to other segments of lending portfolios including consumer installment or credit card loans, as well as corporate loan portfolios. Moreover, banking organizations must be prepared for the possibility that liquidity conditions become tighter if uncertainties in the capital markets fail to subside or if credit conditions deteriorate significantly. Accordingly, we anticipate that the number of banks with less than satisfactory supervisory ratings will continue to increase from the relatively low levels that have existed in recent years and we are monitoring developments at all supervised institutions closely.
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Obama backs Lieberman against the wall (literally)

by Steve Benen

Joe Lieberman, fully embracing his role as a Republican attack dog, took the lead in a GOP conference call this morning to attack Barack Obama's Middle East policy. On the call, organized by far-right Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.), Lieberman argued, weakly, that Obama holds the U.S. responsible for Iran's strength in the region.

"Senator Obama argued today that American foreign policy in recent years has essentially sort of strengthened Iran," Lieberman said, adding, "If Israel is in danger today, it's not because of American foreign policy, which has been strongly supportive of Israel in every way. It's not because of what we've done in Iraq, it's because Iran is a fanatical terrorist expansionist state."

Obama, apparently, didn't care for Lieberman's comments, so much so that the Democratic presidential nominee confronted Lieberman directly on the Senate floor this afternoon. Subscription-only Roll Call reported:

[D]uring a Senate vote Wednesday, Obama dragged Lieberman by the hand to a far corner of the Senate chamber and engaged in what appeared to reporters in the gallery as an intense, three-minute conversation.

While it was unclear what the two were discussing, the body language suggested that Obama was trying to convince Lieberman of something and his stance appeared slightly intimidating.

Using forceful, but not angry, hand gestures, Obama literally backed up Lieberman against the wall, leaned in very close at times, and appeared to be trying to dominate the conversation, as the two talked over each other in a few instances.

Now, as far as I know, this wasn't an entirely forceful confrontation, and the two reportedly "patted each other on the back" after their discussion. Reporters apparently peered over the edge of the press gallery wall to watch the disagreement, prompting Obama to smile and point up at the reporters. (I mention this because I don't want to suggest Obama was about to smack Lieberman around.)

But it's also the kind of anecdote that reminds us that Barack Obama is not afraid to push back against those attacking him.

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6 Flicks That Drove Crazies to Kill

by Ransom Riggs

Ransom RiggsJust as the literature-inspired shooters of the 70s and 80s were probably crazy long before they picked up a copy of Catcher on the Rye, the psychos who claim a movie drove them to kill were probably psycho long before screening Psycho. (But hey, you never know.) These are six films that supposedly pushed people over the edge.

bug_ver3.jpg1. William Friedkin's BUG

This creepy but not entirely successful 2006 psycho-thriller about paranoia and insect infestations was directed by William Friedkin, most famous for The Exorcist.

Despite dealing with a few murders and plenty of craziness in its own plot, the crime it inspired was considerably more horrific and strange. In January, blaring headlines like "Millionaire executive unhinged by horror film killed daughter" announced the tragedy, apparently trigged as stressed-out insurance executive Alberto Izaga watched Bug in a theater with his wife. (It was the only movie playing that had available seats; perhaps this tragedy could've been avoided, ironically, if the film were more popular?) Soon after, his wife would find him babbling incoherently in the middle of the night, shouting about the film, the Devil and death. Experiencing what his wife would call an "extreme and sudden" breakdown, he bludgeoned his two-year-old daughter to death while yelling "God doesn't exist! The universe doesn't exist! Humanity doesn't exist!" Judged not guilty by reason of insanity, the judge passed sentence thusly: "This is a truly agonizing case. No sentence I pass can ever match the sentence you will pass on yourself."

2. The Matrix and the Landlady Effect

The Matrix and its many sequels are deadly films. Deadly not only in terms of pacing, plot development and believability (the sequels especially), but also, strangely, to landladies. Claiming they had been "sucked into the Matrix," a Swedish exchange student, Vadim Mieseges, and an Ohio woman, Tonda Lynn Ansley, attacked their landladies in an attempt to free themselves from mind control. Both plead (and were granted) insanity, and thus liberated from the Matrix (and, one would assume, their leases), they're "free" to spend the rest of their lives in mental hospitals.

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The dread planet

Why finding fossils on Mars would be extremely bad news for humanity

By Nick Bostrom

THE IDEA OF life on Mars has been with us for nearly 300 years, ever since early astronomers saw what they believed to be polar icecaps through their primitive telescopes. If NASA's Phoenix lander successfully touches down on Mars this afternoon, it will become part of a long experiment to determine whether the planet was ever habitable, and whether it contains any traces of life, extinct or still active.

Discovering traces of life on Mars would be of tremendous scientific significance: The first time that any signs of extraterrestrial life had ever been detected. Many people would also find it heartening to learn that we're not entirely alone in this vast, cold cosmos.

They shouldn't. If they were wise, they'd hope that our probes discover nothing. It would be great news to find that Mars is a completely sterile planet.

On the other hand, if we discovered traces of some simple extinct life form - a bacterium, some algae - it would be bad news. If we found fossils of something even more advanced, like a trilobite or even the skeleton of a small mammal, it would be horrible news. The more complex the life we found, the more depressing. Scientifically interesting, yes, but dire news for the future of the human race.

Why? To understand the real meaning of such a discovery is to realize just what it means that the universe has been so silent for so long - why we have been listening for other civilizations for decades and yet have heard nothing.

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'A hodgepodge of hash, yoga and LSD'

On the eve of his last ever gig in Europe, sitar giant Ravi Shankar tells John O'Mahony why the 60s got India wrong, how his daughters give him hope - and why Hendrix annoyed him

Ravi Shankar

If Ravi Shankar has one abiding memory of the Monterey pop festival - which took place in the heady summer of 1967, at the height of his notoriety as the sitar-playing guru to the stars - it is of unfortunate scheduling. Slated to appear before him were Jefferson Airplane, a band whose blues-inflected barrage of pulsating sound couldn't have clashed more with his own karmic composure. And right after him was one Jimi Hendrix, then still a relative unknown, but with a growing reputation for ferocious, turbo-charged guitar solos.

"I thought he was fantastic, but so very loud," Shankar says now, shaking his head. "And then he would do that thing with his instrument when he would open up a can of gasoline and burn his guitar. People went gaga for it; they loved it. But for me, the burning of the guitar was the greatest sacrilege possible. I just ran out of there. I told them that even if I had to pay some kind of compensation to get out of playing the festival, I just couldn't do it." The organisers' solution was to give Shankar his own stage for an altogether more civilised afternoon performance of assorted ragas, during which Hendrix sat quietly in the front row.

This predicament highlights what has to be one of the most extraordinary and often bizarre career trajectories of any living musician. Now a venerable 88, Shankar is finally saying farewell to Europe with a tour that culminates at the Barbican in London tonight, where he will perform a selection of specially chosen ragas with his daughter, Anoushka, also a sitar player. Much of the tour had to be cancelled due to a stomach virus - but Shankar has now been declared fit and ready to play. "My mind, musically ... in every sense I feel much better than ever before," he says. "But it is the body that sometimes lets me down."

Meeting Shankar, it's difficult to believe that this diminutive, deferential man has been such a counterculture luminary. His greeting comes in the form of a namaskar, a gracious supplicant bow, and his speech is pitched just above a gentle whisper.

"I really hope I can make a little sense for you," he says, pleading jetlag brought on by the long journey from his adoptive home in southern California.

"I don't adjust quite the way I used to."

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Something weaselly about McClellan book

Loyal spokesman comes clean about Bush in frank memoir

BY RICHARD ROEPER Sun-Times Columnist

'SCOTT THE SNITCH"

Drudge Report headline about former White House press secretary Scott McClellan

If you're going to work for Oprah Winfrey, you have to sign a confidentiality agreement that says you'll never, ever, EVER blab to the media or write a tell-all book about the experience. (That's why you've never seen a book titled She Once Gave Me Change for a Dollar: My Years as a Production Assistant with Oprah.)

But if you're the former press secretary to the White House, you're free to publish a gossipy memoir that paints an unflattering portrait of the president of the United States and many of his top advisers.

Then again, even with her numbers slipping a bit, Oprah is infinitely more popular than the prez.

Hello, he lied

Of course, this is the way it should be. You don't want to live in a country where former official government spokes-folks are banned for life from openly talking about their experiences.

Still, there's something weaselly about Scott McClellan staunchly defending George Bush all those years -- and then turning around and writing this memoir in the waning days of the Bush administration. NOW he tells us?

As the Washington Post, Politico.com and others have reported, What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception is far juicier than most insiders expected.

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Who's the anti-Christ?

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Honey, I Ate the Rebate

You've already spent your tax windfall on gas and bread.


Illustration by Mark Alan Stamaty. Click image to expand.

As we speak, economic stimulus, in the form of about $120 billion in tax rebates, is working its way into America's financial bloodstream. Those taxpayers set up for electronic deposit have already received their cash while those relying on snail mail have started to get checks and will continue to do so through mid-July. For America's retailers, struggling with rising unemployment, inflation, and sluggish sales, this booster shot couldn't have come at a better time. Companies such as Kroger grocery stores have set up programs that permit people to exchange stimulus checks for gift cards with a 10 percent bonus. Other discretionary retailers—apparel, sporting goods, restaurants—are holding out hope that the money will find its way into their registers. After all, when the American consumer has cash, he tends to spend it.

But David Rosenberg, Merrill Lynch's straight-talking chief economist for North America, says it might be different this time. The reason: The chunk of the stimulus package likely to get spent is roughly equivalent to the amount Americans are paying for higher food and gas prices because of inflation. Put another way, you've already spent your stimulus at ExxonMobil.

Here are the numbers. When the president signed the fiscal stimulus into law, gasoline prices were hovering near $3 a gallon. Now they're close to $4 a gallon. Rosenberg says the old rule of thumb is that every penny increase in the price of gas takes $1.3 billion out of the pockets of American households. So he concludes that the higher price of energy is draining about $25 billion out of the discretionary spending pool in this quarter alone. Next, factor in food inflation, which is running at a 9 percent annual rate, compared with the normal 2 percent. Food already eats up about 14 percent of the typical American's household budget. By Rosenberg's reckoning, Americans sticking to their regular diets are paying an extra $25 billion per quarter compared with last year. "The combination of energy and food is draining discretionary spending at a $50 billion quarterly rate," he says.

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Brazil inmate had $173K, guns, TV, fridge in cell

The luxurious lifestyle of a convict in northeastern Brazil has come to an abrupt end after police confiscated a plasma TV set, gym equipment, two pistols and cash worth $173,000 from his cell, officials said Tuesday.

Bahia's Prison Affairs Department head Jose Francisco Leite said police raided the cell Monday in a statewide crackdown on drug trafficking.

He said Tuesday authorities have ordered an investigation of how of Genilson Lins da Silva got 280,000 reals ($173,000), two .38-caliber pistols and other amenities into his cell at the Bahia's Lemos Brito Penitentiary. Silva is serving 28 years for robbery and murder and was transferred to another prison.

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A brief history of gasoline consumption in America

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Stay home, read, have sex

Will insane gas prices finally pummel us into evolving? How bad will it get?

It should be a truly fascinating — albeit possibly enormously grim — thing to watch, one of the more dramatic and revolutionary market-driven shifts in modern history, upheaving everything we've become so accustomed to and changing behaviors and attitudes and alliances and political agendas and ass-girths and no I'm not talking about the "Lost" finale or the new 3G iPhone or how Brangelina's twins are a sure sign of the Second Coming.

It's the massive, painful spike in gas and oil prices, that most wonderful/frightening harbinger of doom/change/turmoil known to modern society that is fast turning into a calamitous global hurricane, ready to wreak havoc on just about every aspect of modern life, and that includes food and transport and sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll and just about everything else that makes America, America.

What, too dramatic? Not by much. The initial signs are all in place. The price of a barrel of oil is soaring, production levels are peaking, the world economy is shuddering in the face of a permanent production slowdown, even the most staid economists and prognosticators are blinking hard and saying holy hell, we really have no idea how this will all shake out.

You can already feel the initial clenching. As a nation, they say we're already driving about 4 percent less than we did last year, which translates into 11 billion miles per month, which, for gluttonous and wanton Americans, is technically considered "a lot." SUV sales are tanking fast and trading in your old gas hog is increasingly difficult as rampant feelings of comeuppance and I-told-you-so smugness from small car/scooter/bike owners spread across the land like a viral Weezer video.

But that's just the beginning. It appears that the dour, much-maligned peak oil sages from a few years back were at least partially correct, and the let's-drill-everywhere weasels from the war-for-oil Republican Party were, quite naturally, wrong. There are simply no indicators that gas will drop back to the $2 range anytime soon, there is very little "elasticity" left in the global petroleum market, and China and India are dipping larger and larger ladles into a smaller and smaller pot, all pointing to a very good chance that the United States will see seven or eight bucks a gallon just in time for the final SUV manufacturing plant to switch over to making Segways and sun visors.

Big deal? Hell yes it is. No other crucial, universal market commodity has seen a 200-400 percent price spike in such a short period. It means a much broader, more dangerous upheaval in global energy, given how that damnable petroleum is everywhere, from food production to manufacturing, shipping to construction.

It will be heaven, it will be hell. President Obama will likely hesitate not at all to instigate a massive hybrid/plug-in/alterative fuel initiative, challenging inventors and Big Auto alike to finally get their asses in gear and knock it off with the internal combustion BS that hasn't changed in any fundamental way in, oh, about 150 years.

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Stay the Course

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Let Lieberman smite them in their secret parts

by Jesus' General

Sen. Joe Lieberman
Citizens for McCain

Dear Sen. Lieberman,

I'm glad to hear you'll be representing Sen. John McCain at John Hagee's Christian's United for Israel conference. It's a great opportunity to reassure Pastor Hagee's followers that McCain's the candidate who is most in-tune with their basic beliefs.

I'm hoping that you'll use the speech to firm up that relationship even a little more. Specifically, it'd be great if you could tell the attendees that you agree with Hagee's claim that the Holocaust was a good thing for Jews. Even better would by a declaration that you've accepted out lord Jesus as your own personal savior. I bet that'd get you that number two spot on the ticket you want so badly.

You might also promise to ask Sen. McCain to create the position of Undersecretary in Godly Intervention and Biblical Defense for Pastor Hagee in the Department of Defense. Hagee could then hire a staff of professional prayers to ask God to take out Gaza with a hurricane just like he did in New Orleans.

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DOINK!

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Ted Kennedy's America

by

Mark Wilson Getty.jpg


As Ted Kennedy recovers from his successful brain surgery, thoughts turn to his impact on American life.

Ted Kennedy's contemporary reputation is so bound up in his accomplishments as a legislator that it's easy to forget that there was at one time a very real chance that he'd become president of the United States. Kennedy loyalists had long hoped the youngest brother of Jack and Bobby would assume the leadership of the party, but it was only in 1979, when sitting Democratic president Jimmy Carter was at the nadir of his popularity, that Ted Kennedy launched a presidential bid.

For a staunch party loyalist, this couldn't have been an easy decision. But Carter was, in Kennedy's view, endangering the party, and it seemed possible that the resurgent Republicans could take the White House, pushing the country toward the hard-edged Goldwaterite conservatism that the Kennedy family had long vigorously opposed.

Kennedy entered the primary campaign leading Carter in the polls, but then the Iranian revolution, and in particular the hostage crisis during which radical Iranian students seized the United States embassy in Teheran, gave the sitting President a new lease on life. Because Kennedy was first and foremost a domestic candidate, deeply committed to revitalizing the New Deal tradition, the threatening international environment put him at a distinct disadvantage. Tellingly, he won his biggest primary victories -- which came too late in the game to unseat Carter -- only after the public had soured on the President's approach to the hostage crisis, a souring that would eventually deliver the White House to Ronald Reagan.

At the Democratic National Convention, held in August in New York, the party was still bitterly divided. Kennedy, in what many still remember as his finest hour, gave a startlingly good speech -- a speech that arguably surpassed any given by his older brothers -- articulating the case for a more egalitarian, more energetic liberalism, one that deepened and extended the New Deal legacy by instituting national healthcare, and by including blacks, Latinos, and other excluded communities in American prosperity. Kennedy anticipated the Democratic future by emphasizing the health of the natural environment and the rights of women. "We have always been the party of hope, he told the assembled delegates. So this year let us offer new hope, new hope to an America uncertain about the present, but unsurpassed in its potential for the future." It's not hard to see why Kennedy has developed such a strong connection to Barack Obama, and why some suggest that Obama has taken up the Kennedy legacy.

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Attempt to Subvert DSHEA

 

Anti-Supplement Congressmen At It Again & Other Important Legislation

Consumer Action Needed To Amend the FDA Globalization Act of 2008
Contact Your Congressional Representatives Now

          [It is critical that consumers push to amend this proposed bill to exempt its application to dietary supplements, or there will be more regulation, higher costs for supplement manufacturers (domestic and foreign), and higher costs for consumers.]

The FDA Globalization Act – Higher Costs for Supplements

By Lee Bechtel, NHF National Lobbyist

The Kennedy/Durbin/Dingell/Waxman, pro-FDA/anti-supplement axis does not rest.

          Now, Representative John Dingell (D-MI), Chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, has released draft legislation that would institute new yearly Food and Drug Administration (FDA) user fees for domestic and foreign dietary-supplement manufacturers.  The proposed bill, the FDA Globalization Act, does not exempt supplements from inclusion and classification as food products or ingredients.  Sound familiar as a legislative strategy for the Democratic-controlled Congress and their anti-supplement leaders?

          The draft bill's provisions also give the FDA one-sided legal authority to recall contaminated "foods" and "unsafe medications."  Currently, the Agency can only ask companies to withdraw a supplement product it deems to be a drug, an adulterated food, or unsafe for consumers.  This new legislation would establish a group of inspectors to monitor companies that manufacture nutritional foods, supplements, drugs, and medical devices abroad.  To fund these changes, and to pay for the expansion of FDA authority, the bill creates new FDA user fees for domestic and foreign manufacturers.  Foreign companies importing supplements for distribution within the U.S. would also be required to register their products and production facilities with the FDA every year, and to pay a user fee.

          The draft bill has not yet been officially introduced, so it has no bill number yet.  It takes provisions from several bills already introduced – H.R.3610, H.R.3624, H.R.3115, and H.R.3484.  If passed and enacted into law in its current version, the legislation would no doubt lead to more FDA regulation of supplements, higher costs for supplement manufacturers, domestic and foreign, and these higher costs would in turn be passed on to consumers of dietary supplements.

          Health-freedom advocates and NHF members need to contact their Congressmen and –women, and especially Energy and Commerce Committee members, to amend this proposed bill to specifically exempt its application to dietary supplements.  If this does not happen, it would be left to the FDA to interpret its application or non-application to supplements.  Health-freedom advocates already know what has and can happen if this were to occur.

          Supplements already have an enviable track record of incredible safety, they neither deserve nor need yet another layer of bureaucratic control.  Above all, this attempt – yet again – to lump safe supplements into the same category as dangerous drugs must be defeated.

****************

 

Additional Information on the FDA Globalization Act- (Click this link)

To Read Representative John Dingell's Memo- (Click this link)

To View the Sample Petition Letter- (Click this link)

Committee on Energy and Commerce Members (Click this link)

NHF members and the health freedom community in general, must get behind our lobbying efforts to obtain clarification/exemption language included in the Globalization legislation.

 

****************

Click on this address to contact your Congressperson
in the U.S. House of Representatives:  http://www.house.gov/writerep

Click on the following links below for individual mailing addresses for 
letter writing and other contact info for Congress Members: 

House of Representatives

Fax List for Congress

****************

Website:  www.thenhf.com                      E-mail:  contact-us@thenhf.com

 

 

 

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FINISH UP THOSE SONGS and enter them by JUNE 15th for your chance to win...

 
The John Lennon Songwriting Contest
  Deadline June 15th
This is your last chance to enter Session I of the 2008 John Lennon Songwriting Contest
Enter by June 15th, 2008


FINISH UP THOSE SONGS and enter them by JUNE 15th for your chance to win...

> $20,000 courtesy of Maxell Corporation for the Song Of The Year
> An Apple Computer with Cinema Display and Logic Pro software
> A Mackie Mixer and a pair of Mackie Studio Monitors
> Performance opportunities at The 2009 NAMM show and the 2009 Vans Warped Tour
> $5,000 in Project Studio Equipment from Roland/Edirol, Audio-Technica, Godin Guitars, Propellerhead, Ableton and Sibelius
> $1000 in Mackie, Ampeg, or Crate Products
> 1000 custom CDs of your music courtesy of Disc Makers
> Gift Certificates from MusiciansFriend.com

Go to WWW.JLSC.COM to enter and for a complete list of prizes.

 

Attention All JLSC Entrants!
Want to be a Production Assistant on the Warped Tour?
Sponsored By...

"Lennon" and "John Lennon" are trademarks of Yoko Ono Lennon. All artwork (c) Yoko Ono Lennon. Licensed exclusively through Bag One Arts, Inc.

Enter the 2008 Contest

Session I - OPEN
Open - January 15, 2008
Deadline - June 15, 2008
Winner Announcement -
September 1, 2008
12 Grand Prize Winners (one in each category) and 36 Finalists (three in each category)

Session II - Closed
Open - June 16, 2008
Deadline - December 15, 2008
Winner Announcement -
March 1, 2009
12 Grand Prize Winners (one in each category) and 36 Finalists (three in each category)

12 Lennon Awards
Winner Announcement
-
May 1, 2009
Grand Prize Winners of Session I and Session II will compete head-to-head in an online voting battle to become the Lennon Award Winner in their respective category.

Maxell Song of the Year
Winner Announcement
-
July, 2009
The 12 Lennon Award Winners will compete for the Maxell Song of the Year and $20,000.

Awards and Prizes
2007 Contest Updates
Songwriting Tips
Events

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January 17 - 20
Battle of the Bands
February - November
NAB Show
April 11 - 17
Summerfest
June 26 - July 9
 

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