Acquires Cryptic Icon From Funk Rocker Prince
by Andy Borowitz
The White House today announced today that it would no longer use the phrase "war on terror" and would instead replace it with a cryptic symbol once used by the funk rocker known as Prince.The new symbol made its first appearance today at a White House press conference in which spokesman Robert Gibbs answered a question about the war on terror by holding up a picture of the newly acquired icon.
Mr. Gibbs said that the White House had decided to replace the phrase with the symbol after determining that its first-choice euphemism, "overseas contingency operations," was too much of a mouthful.
"In the years that Prince used the symbol, it was totally confusing and no one knew what it meant," he said. "It should work perfectly for us."
To acquire the rights to the symbol, however, the White House had to outbid an unlikely suitor, the insurance giant AIG.
The embattled company, which recently stripped its corporate headquarters of its logo in the hopes of throwing protesters off its scent, had intended to replace it with the mysterious icon coveted by the White House.
It was hoping to rebrand itself as "The Insurance Giant Formerly Known as AIG," a company spokesman said.
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